Just a Bill

I have a post that is sitting in 'drafts'. It's waiting to be published, like so many others, biding its time. But this post keeps popping up from my sub-conscience. It tries to get my attention again and again. It keeps reminding me of itself in conversations I have with friends. In conversations with family. In conversations with myself. Mostly in conversations with myself. But it has to wait, along with the others, because I am staunchly opposed to posting it right now.

And I have live-out-loud boys, a thoughtful-if-tromping husband who stretches my thoughts to the larger world, a house which drives me to distraction, and a Welsh puppy who noses my elbow and licks my toes.

So .. not yet, shouty post. I am adamant. Despite the fact that it is the reason I have not posted these many months. I am adamant. You will become an actual post one day. Until then, I leave you with this:

Today's conundrum: Am I waiting in vain for that vendor to call-back?

Future conundrum: Will the local NBC all-weather, all-the-time channel ever change its music?

Thanks for perusing; see you again soon.  tIOx

We Are Not Alone

I've come to realise just what a unique position I was in.

My husband travelled for his job, leaving every week before the sun rose on Monday morning and returning usually after midnight on Friday. For nine years, I was 'home alone' for four days each week, and then on Fridays from 7am-7pm while he was in the office. I was alone on birthdays - but thankfully not on birth days. I was alone on holidays. I was alone on anniversaries. And, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary - including my own upbringing, for most of those nine years I thought everyone lived like this.

I thought everyone was vigilant and wakeful at night. Everyone with children, at least. I thought everyone was scheduled and structured and spent their time always on, always busy, unable to relax. I thought everyone kept calm and carried on.

And I knew lots of people had it worse than I did. So I didn't complain. Not overtly. Outgoing introverts seek other outlets.

I busied myself, as you do, with the goings-on of my children. With the forced friendships of 'Mommy-and-Me' classes at the pool. With the friends who hadn't abandoned us when we left the city for the suburbs. With overseeing the maintenance of a first house. With scheduling visits and roadtrips and long walks and meals. And in all of this scheduling, I lost myself. Literally. I lost the ability to see clearly the situation I lived in. The incessant busyness of cleaning and decluttering and surfing the web, and sourcing and researching and volunteering built a wall between my life and 'the rest of the world.'

And so I became a bystander. Where once I had carried giant balloons in festival parades for the World Cup, I was now carrying Red Robin balloons tethered to Vera Bradley bags. Where I once had hopped a plane to Seattle 'just because', I was now drinking 'Pete's Blend' on a bench surrounded by prairie grass. Gloriously, I had turned my life into a role I longed to play but with a script I couldn't read. And I seemed, like a voyeur, to be watching it all happen from the cheap seats.

I remember the day I first thought: "I did this to survive." It was five months after my younger son was born and I was planning the daily 'afternoon outing'. Recalling both the freedom of my own youth and the memories of long days spent in offices with windows that wouldn't open, I wanted my children to spend as much time outdoors as possible regardless the weather. As I was planning where to go on that bitterly cold day, my best friend phoned to cancel her plans to join us. Her oldest was sick the day before and it was travelling through the family at breakneck speed. I made plans with her to get food and drink on her table that night when she said something that threw me: "I keep thinking that I just have to make it until 6pm and then he'll be home and I can relax."

I have no idea how many times she'd uttered this phrase previously. A dozen times? Perhaps a hundred times. But it was like reading a verse or hearing a song that you've heard so many times before and only now really understanding what it means. She only had hours to wait until she could relax. She only had hours. I had days. It was just Tuesday, after all. I had days. Days before I felt like I might be able to relax. Days, actually just a precious 48 hours, that would be chewed up and spit out and then Monday would come again. And then I would have more days. And I realised that not everyone lived like this.

I went through the afternoon focused on getting the meal prepared for her. I piled the children in the station wagon and drove the 30 minutes to her house. After setting the table, getting the oven prepped, and cleaning up what messes I could, I made the reverse trip with both the rush hour traffic and the realization that I was in a new place emotionally closing in on me. Later that night, when the boys had been lovingly sanitized from our trip into that familiar but infected home, I sat on my sofa in front of 'Location, Location, Location' on the DVR and sobbed.

I didn't answer the phone when my husband called that night. I listened to the voice mail he'd left with a numbness spreading through me. I remember ringing him back, cognizant of the distance in both my heart and my voice. I remember thinking how unfair I was being. How removed. How cold. He told me I was. And I remember thinking "I did this to survive. I did it to survive being alone and what it feels like to be alone. I am alone and I don't want to be. You made me be alone."

We are made to be in relationships. We are not made to be alone. That we have to or that we believe that it's OK if we are is a lie. No one earns points for being alone in a world that is full of harmonies and dissonances and complements and contrasts.

Two years ago, I asked to not be alone anymore. He said, "I never meant for you to feel alone. Because you never seemed like you were."



Today's conundrum:
If we pay to have something installed 'within 48 hours', are weekends included in that 48-hour window?

Future conundrum:
Do fish really gotta swim and birds really gotta fly?

Thanks for perusing the blog. Speak again soon.   tIO x

Something Has to be Said

I've been fighting with Gossip for awhile now. We are not on speaking terms at the moment - and for good reason. It's maligned my friends and family, torn groups of once happy people apart, and fanned the flames of individual insecurities creating firestorms and leaving swathes of destruction in its path.


Gossip says it serves a purpose, that it can actually be 'productive' and 'helpful.' I say 'balderdash.' But then, Gossip does tend to talk a lot of nonsense. Often we don't notice just what nonsense it is until it's too late. And when we do, by then it's moved on to a new topic and we're left feeling lost and perturbed and a little bit scared. We chase after it then (which is what it expects), trying to catch up and get back to where we were in the conversation, back to whatever we've lost in the translation. But Gossip loves to keep us guessing. That's how it works. Will it come back to us - either to include us or to make us the center of its attention? After all of this bait-and-switch hither-and-yon will-you-or-won't-you, I've grown tired of Gossip. I asked it to leave.


It just doesn't take the hint though, does it? It won't go away politely when asked, and has a terrible habit of showing up at just the wrong time. Sometimes it lulls you into a false sense of security, believing that it's not too bad and that hanging around for the occasional perk-me-up is fine really. Sometimes it simply changes clothes in an attempt to disguise itself as something else less innocuous. Or worse - important.


Then there are the times when you think you've out-run it and banished it altogether. That it's taken up shop in other circles - ones that you don't move in or care about or touch. But then you hear something about someone that you used to know or know someone who knows that someone, and, just like that, Gossip is back.


Now what? Do you stand farther out on the sidelines this time, back turned defiantly, determined to let Gossip walk right past? To not say a word and ignore the unbearable lightness and laughter beaming happily from Gossip? Do you wait to see what will happen? To whom it will happen? What Gossip will wear when it does happen? If it has on that Tom Ford lipstick you love?


The sidelines might feel safer, but you can never go too far to get away from Gossip. My advice: do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly. And keep up the fight. Gossip gets tired just like the rest of us.




Today's conundrum:
Have we been able to sufficiently prove that every snowflake is unique? That no two are alike?

Future conundrum:
With all of the leaks and 'makings-of', will the SuperBowl Ferris be a hit? Or will VW reign supreme again this year?


Thanks for stopping by blogger on a snowy evening. See you again soon.
tIO x

Dressember

'Dressember' comes but once a year, and I'll be posting about it here. What is 'Dressember', you ask? Here is the official description:

December 1st marks the beginning of 'Dressember' - the challenge for women (or the adventurous male) everywhere to shake up their wardrobe and try ditching the jeans and t-shirts.

We're aiming to wear dresses as often as possible: don't worry if it's not practical in the day, you can go for a skirt/top combo if needed. Or have fun and dress up in the evening in that cocktail dress you never get to wear!

There are no rules, it's all about stretching your wardrobe boundaries, trying something different, and having fun, so just jump on in :-)


Sounds like fun, right? If you would like to participate, please visit the Dressember Facebook page. And please let me know too; we can take on the challenge together!

Thanks for perusing; blog you again soon!  tIO x
PS: If you need inspiration, dive into Eleanor Estes' wonderful book 'the Hundred Dresses'. It was a favorite from my childhood; I read it dozens of times.

More Patience

I'm doing some remodelling of the blog right now. Seems like each week, a widget gets updated (or rewritten), pics and videos are lost, or I find a lovely new blog to add to the blogroll. However, I am nothing if not regularly striving to be organized. So this time, instead of plonking down with a book and silently fretting about it, I am doing something. It may take some time and might include using posterous. Or not. We'll see.

Regardless, like every thing else, this blog is a work in progress. I'm even thinking of posting some 'before-after' photos of our house, which has undergone (and continues to undergo) a transformation from its previous owners. During our house hunt, I described it to my husband as 'well-cared for' and having 'good bones', but in need of 'a decorating overhaul' as it's decor resembled a Marriott from the 1980s. The early 1980s. Alright for some (clearly); just not our style. And what a boring world this would be if we all liked the same things, eh?

Here's a tease:

the Master Bedroom 'before'

Meanwhile, please excuse the mess. And thanks for perusing; blog you again soon!  tIO x

Happy is as Happy Does

As a little blog in the blog pond, I am always surprised when someone comments or follows. So when I was recently paid a high compliment by the lovely Jeanne at Collage of Life, I was humbled, honored, and delighted. Jeanne's blogs are full of encouragement and beauty, and are a wonderful respite on any day. Thank you, Jeanne, my 'blog warrior' friend, for sharing your inspirations. Oh, how I do love an award with cupcakes! x

When receiving an award, one is instructed to do the following:
1. Post-back to thank the person who recognized you. Naturally, etiquette is observed.
2. Offer 10 things that make you happy. Though I've noticed straying from that number is acceptable.
and 3. Pass along the award to 10 bloggers who make you happy. Which may not be such an easy task!

So, in an attempt to respect the set limits, here are "10 things that make [me] happy":
Laughter
Reading
Finding a good math curriculum
Myst
My boys, who aren't 'things', and their tromping through mud, flying arrows, skinned knees, voracious appetites, and flashing eyes
French toast, lemon bars, and potatoes
Wit
Exploring
Design
The color red

Now, it is my happy honor to pass along the above award to the following bloggers, each of whom is a delight for their kind words, sweet thoughts, and good times:

CapeBags
Chatting at the Sky
Daily Violets
Earmark
High Street Market
Home Girl
Marymcdonald
Pillar Box Post
Sweet Puffins
The Indomitably Courageous U

Glancing through my blogroll, it is replete with wonderful reads from diverse, happy people. For those so inclined, please peruse to your heart's content! Or as my husband says: "So many blogs, so little time, huh?" Exactly.

Here's to a happy day, blogfriends!   tIO x

That's Just Super: the tale of a sofa

You may have the impression that I like sport. And I do. But I've decided that I like the inherent camaraderie, the inveterate optimism of a potential 'win', infinitely better. Therefore then, I think nearly anything can be envisioned as 'a sport'.

Like shopping for fabric, for instance. I am a fabric hound, with bins stacked in closets and swatches tucked into my wallet. I have two bolts of linen for window treatments for a house by the sea I do not yet (and may never) own. And recently I have been considering a 5-hour drive to Baltimore, Maryland simply due to the lovely 'Pigtown Design' and her amazing find there, DeBois Textiles. When it comes to searching for something I actually need - clothing, wall hooks, eyeglasses, etc, I tend to have a clear vision of what fills that need and seek it out until it's been found. I dig-in for the 'hunt' and am nothing if not tenacious. Consider the fabric in my blog banner, for example...

It was 29 December 2000. My husband and I were both first-time home-owners and first-time parents. Our 'college/apartment furniture' had weathered many moves and storms - from Ohio to Virginia to Illinois to New York and back again. One evening, after putting our son to bed, my husband noted: "We have a proper living room now. It's time for some 'grown-up' stuff." I was instructed to hit the Toms-Price store the next day to see what I could find. I didn't have carte blanche, but our tastes being so similar, I knew it would be a productive afternoon. It was. I found this:


with a split cushion and four pillows (my husband is not a fan of the tightback). I took some snaps with my camera, and headed home - along with 14 memo samples - for the approval. The sofa was a hit, but I had made the error of providing my husband with too many fabric choices. Kindly, he asked me to narrow the field. I already had, of course; but I made another effort, and within the hour I had it down to four. We went back and forth for two days and, on New Year's Eve, finally made this choice:

Gleefully, I returned to the shop on New Year's Day, memos and checkbook in hand. Then, the other shoe fell: the fabric had been discontinued by the furniture company on 31 December 2000 - literally the day before. The sales associate and I double-checked codes and information; she phoned the manufacturer and consulted the shop owner. Nothing could be done; I would have to choose a different cover. We didn't have a firm 'second choice' so I rang my husband to get his input . Did he want to revisit the samples I brought home before? Did he want a different color direction? Fewer stripes? More pheasants? Wisely, he suggested we sleep on it. "Surely, the manufacturer will have a bolt lying around somewhere" and we could convince them - on a regular working day during normal business hours - to seek it out and cover our sofa with it. We made the request the next day. One week passed. No bolt had surfaced, nor was one likely to. My husband, who travelled every week, became distanced from the conflict and left the decision squarely in my hands. His goal was less about fabric now and more about having a sofa by Easter.

And so I took to the internet. The sales associate provided me with the discontinued sample and I phoned every contact I had remotely connected to "the trade" to no avail. Desperate, I called England and an amazing thing happened: Sanderson, the fabric manufacturer, couldn't assist me directly but suggested I email Discount Fabric and Wallpaper for help. My email to them had a response within 24 hours: they could get my fabric (directly from the manufacturer) and it would be shipped (for surprisingly little cost) within the week. I was stunned. Our fabric arrived from England by mid-January, the local shop shipped it to North Carolina with the COM order the following day, and our little sofa was perched in our living room by St Patrick's Day.

The moral: Don't stop believing. And if you can't find the fabric you want, there's always more fabric.
Thanks for perusing this blog; blog you again soon!   tIO x

Banner Day! with meringuedesigns

It's the Monday before Christmas, and it's a 'banner day'! Let's celebrate with the wonderful Etsy shop, Meringue Designs.



Cynthia Winward is a SAM of three who " found (her) passion in life" through sewing. When she left finance to raise her children, she also reunited with her serger and that's when things came together. Literally! Drapes, quilts, jackets and clothes for the children and for herself. And now she creates pillows, embroidery, patterns, and - of course - celebration banners like this one:

The best thing about this banner, though, is that it's for sale as a pattern - an "entire alphabet in mirror image...for uppercase and lowercase letters". It is a supplement to her 'Birthday Banner' pattern, which includes instructions for constructing the banner itself (also available in her shop). Wonderful, especially for those of us who like to 'make do and mend' - and create!

More loveliness from Meringue Designs:

  

Meringue Designs is a lovely shop and Cynthia writes an engaging blog, "Deep Thoughts by Cynthia". Reading through, Cynthia is not only "additcted to color", but this little tidbit caught my eye - and made me laugh-out-loud: "There is something ironic about being a seamstress and yet hating to sew costumes for my kids. I swear I can’t be bothered." I love that irony! And finding a terrific shop full of great fabrics, gorgeous pillows, and amazing banners - like Meringue Designs.

Time to wrap-it-up, lovelies! Here's to a great week - and a banner day!  tIO x

PS: Happy birthday, Tim!

Santa, Baby...

"Dear Santa,
I've been an awfully good girl this year. And any (or all) of these lovelies would be welcome under my tree:

1.2.
3.    4.5.
6.7.   
8.   9.10.

11.   12.    13.
14. 15.


1. Suzanne Kasler: Inspired Interiors 2. Jane Fearnley-Whittingstall: The Garden 3. Birdsong Farm Botanicals: French Clay & Herb Facial Scrub 4. Laura Mercier Sheer Lip Colour: Sexy Lips 5. Pride & Prejudice DVD (Olivier/Garson) 6. John Adams mini-series DVD 7. tsurubride's 'Orwell Silver Fox Clutch' 8. HighStreetMarket's 'Pair of Vintage Brass Candelabras' 9. fussjewelry's 'All That Glitters' earrings 10. Tissage's 'Tuesday Cloche' in grey felt 11. plumcushion's 'Schumacher Chenonceau' cushion in charcoal 12. 2swansNest's 'Scallop edge Cashmere skirt' 13. 'Vintage Volupte Bookpiecce Bangle' offered by SheriesVintageJewels 14. 'Mitsouko' 15. NEVES for DS

Not to be presumptuous but I've included the links to the shops for you, jolly old sweet Nick. Hope that helps.

As ever, looking forward to next Thursday evening. I'll leave the 'milk and cookies' in the usual spot.

Gratefully,
tIO x"


Today's conundrum: Will he read this? Will he click-through? Will any of these gifts find their way to me (or to you)? *places hands on hips, raises eyebrow*

Future conundrum: Do they know it's Christmas after all?

Thanks for perusing this blog; blog you again soon!

Banner Day! with Earmark

Hear ye, hear ye! Earmark is today's 'banner day' feature, and is a wonderful shop run by husband-and-wife team Bridgette and Mike Berndt. Technically, I suppose, Earmark is the umbrella brand because these two have two Etsy shops - Earmark, their "mother shop" which stands alone as a traditional stationer, and Earmark Gatherings, their "new" shop "filled with fresh and fun party items".

Here are the two Etsy shop banners to start:




As I said, Earmark is a stationer, and a very talented and clever one. They design and sell most traditional paper products, e.g. cards, stationary, prints (like this one I bought), journals, invitations, announcements, etc. And, of course, they produce some terrific banners. Like these:

I may have featured some seasonal banners, but these are the tip of the proverbial iceberg for what Earmark creates and stocks; check-out this one:


Bridgette and Mike are lovely people who create lovely things. And they have turned their passions and talents into a lovely shop for the rest of us: "We have an obsession with paper products, and we cater to the customers that share our obsession."

Do they do custom orders? Yep. Wholesale? Yep. Are they available online? Yep - and not just at their Etsy shops, but also http://earmarkinvitations.com/ (and other online retailers). Bricks-and-mortar? Yep - look on their website for locations. Blog? Yep - http://eigreetings.blogspot.com/ Twitter? Yep - http://twitter.com/Earmark. Go on and click through any of these links to find out how Earmark "creates happiness", some of which looks like this:

      

That's is for today, kids. I'm off to either 'keep calm and carry on' or 'freak out and throw stuff'!

Make it a banner day!  tIO x

PS: Want to read more about Bridgette and Mike? Their interesting tale of life before and since Earmark was posted in May, 2008 as an Etsy "Featured Seller" Story: read it here.

Banner Day! with Bookity

As I continue to search for banners to celebrate and feature, my blog folder and Etsy favorites are filling-up dramatically! So many creative people out there; I love it!

Today's creative banner is courtesy of the wonderful  Bookity. In business since August, Bookity's mission is to recycle unwanted, unusable books, hence the clever name. Here's her engaging Etsy shop banner to start: 


The simplicity and charm of these creations, especially this banner - the "Paper Shakespearean" garland, is what I adore most:

And frankly, I like to say the shop name: "Bookity". So catchy!

More Bookity inspirations:
               

She may be based in Reading UK (which is wonderful planning on her part, really), but she ships internationally, happily upgrades shipping if you ask, and invites custom orders "in the spirit of adventure and the creation of shiny things". Best of all is Bookity's motto: "have sewing machine, will make." In fact, I think it's this 'inveterate optimism' that pervades and draws me in! "That's the spirit!" I cry. And the ticket to beautiful, repurposed, handmade items from Bookity. Check it out.

This week, in the calm before the storm, I am going to try to catch up on some reading, Wolf Hall in particular.

So... 'read on, McDuff', and make it a banner day!   tIO x

PS: Find more Bookity at the Bookity blog, on Facebook at the Bookity fan page, and on twitter at @bookityshop.

Banner Day! with ModernJune

Oh, happy day! It's banner day again! And I am so excited to feature a long-time Etsy 'favorite shop': ModernJune. The festivities begin at this kitschy site banner:



What a great start, right? But the cute doesn't stop there. Owner/blogger/tweeter/homeschooler and all-around cool SAHM, Virginian Kelly McCants has been sewing for 20+ years and selling on Etsy since 2006 "as a simple creative outlet for a semi-desperate housewife." Indeed! Kelly sews the things that we all use - or need to use - everyday: aprons, chalkmats, tablecloths, pillows, splat mats, and totes. And her banners - from celebratory to the 'happy holiday' varieties - are sweet and sturdy, made from oilcloth to "brave summer showers" or maybe even wisps of winter whiteness! Have a gander:

      
Aren't they wonderful?

In fact, as soon as I post this, I'm packing up the laptop and turning to my sewing machine. Guess who just got a package of oilcloth from Kelly? *grins sheepishly* Time to make the oilcloth stocking for the stocking competition at the Grey Colt! Wish me luck! (Or if you're in town on 2 December, stop by the shop. Katie Coulton and her crew always host a wonderful event for charity.)

TTFN, lovelies! And make it a banner day! tIO x

PS  Want more of Kelly and ModernJune? Find her here: http://modernjune.com/ and at her Etsy shop here: http://www.etsy.com/shop/modernjune and blogging here: http://modernjune.blogspot.com/ and here: http://oilclothaddict.blogspot.com/ and on Facebook here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Modern-June/119464333979 and on twitter here: @modernjune. (She knows her social media!)

Banner Day! with Lupin

Hot off the blogpresses! Today's 'banner day' is courtesy of the lovely Laura Howard, a tea-drinking, cake-eating artisan who "wants to fill the world with felt loveliness," as she states on her facebook fan page. And yes, if it wasn't obvious already, I am a fan. Elsewhere, she can be found stocking her wonderful Etsy shop, Lupin; hosting her blog, Bugs and Fishes; and tweeting here: @bugsandfishes.

Laura's post from today - "How To: Advent Garland" - was too fabulous (and simple) to not share with you all. Please click-through the previous link for her tutorial.



Time to pile the boys into the Q7 and go 'supply hunting'. (I have to make it sound adventurous and possibly dangerous as they are boys. And I love it when they are excited about shopping - whatever the reason!)

Have a banner day!

PS: Some snaps from Laura's Lupin shop:

      

I may or may not have already purchased these. Perhaps last year even. And perhaps with a sweet blue adonis butterfly brooch as well. 'Tis the season! tIO x

Banner Day! with NottyPooch

Today's banner comes to us from the clever and crafty Etsy shop of NottyPooch:



Based in Penang, Malaysia, Huey and Wah are the two owners of NottyPooch design and own two naughty pooches, Xiao Bi and Coco, the shop's namesakes. They are also responsible for all of the cleverness and craftiness that results in their "eco recycled banner accessories and cool tshirts".

Here are some examples of their beautifully transformed banners:

 <-- a sleeve for Macbook   <-- an iPhone case

 <-- a casual tote   <-- a long wallet

Clever and crafty, right? In production on Etsy since early 2008, the duo can also be found tending to their blog: http://www.nottypooch.com/mydogdiary/, fanning their Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/nottypooch, and following (and being followed) on twitter: @nottypooch.

With their backgrounds in the fine arts, passion for life, and commitment to producing great, practical accessories in eco-friendly materials, NottyPooch provides us all with another fun "reason to be unique". Two paws up for that! And for the free international shipping!

Toddling off to the antiques shops now, lovelies, to do some recycling and eco-friendly shopping of my own. Make it a banner day!